Wow
we’re terribly sorry, but you can’t put your disobedient child in the stowaway luggage, you’re just going to have to carry on your wayward son
“executive experience? well, I’ve actually been running a porn blog for the last five years and I frequently have to decide whether to tag something as just ‘catgirl,’ or as ‘catgirl’ AND ‘furry’, and that kind of split-second decision making is something I can bring to— oh, you’re calling security? that’s not necessary, I’ll see myself out”
I was loitering all right, but when the cop asked me about it I said no way.
“I’m just a door-to-door salesman,” I lied. “I sell Jacuzzis.”
“Do you install them, too?”
“I sure do.”
The cop then followed me into the liquor store and planted himself by the door; watching as I launched into an improvised sales pitch to the old man behind the register. I described the different shapes and styles of Jacuzzis as well as the various price ranges. I told him what was popular and what the options were with water jets.
“I think I like the one with just the two jets,” said the old man.
“Oh come on, man - two jets?!,” I shook my head, disappointed. “If you really only want two jets you may as well just run over to the hardware store and get yourself one of those little pans you soak your feet in.”
The old man laughed nervously.
“I should really talk to my wife…”
I rolled my eyes. ”Wow. You run every little decision by your wife first?”
“Fine,” he said firmly. “I’ll take the one with ten jets.”
I grinned and patted him hard on the shoulder.
“That’s what I’m talking about!”
About a week later, with the cop watching everything, I had managed to dig a pretty respectable-sized hole in the floor of the liquor store, but the work was hard and it was difficult for me to envision how to build functional water jets.
“Okay,” I said to the cop. “You win. I was loitering.”
this is why i can’t play FPS games
i think i don’t have this problem because i grew up playing shit like Doom and Duke Nukem on my dad’s computer so my brain just wired in “you have a ton of guns and there’s weird, polygonal pigs/demons/giant floating tomatoes coming at you and they sorta go splat when you kill you” and over time game devs just made the threats more human (although i guess that’s not entirely true because Wolfenstein was just as old as Doom and was about fighting against Nazis and RoboHitler but idk I never played it really)
but this response made me imagine where you play in a first-person perspective and you have to use a gun, like, Once and the rest of the way is melee or maybe even a puzzle-like environment like Myst but with moving around or something so then there’s a scene with a gun and it’s like “whoa wtf”
I’m pretty sure a brighter mind than mine could come up with a setting where the one gun moment hits hard but maybe it would be too heavyhanded so maybe more than once idk i’m just spitballing really
i would just want to see a gun usage scene that actually affects a character AND player, not the bullshit new Tomb Raider “LARA KILLS A PERSON FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER AND THEN GRIEVES BY SUDDENLY OPERATING GRENADE LAUNCHERS AND SHOTGUNS AGAINST OTHER HUMAN BEINGS WITHOUT HESITATION”
like seriously I think the big problem with that narrative is that they wrote a character development scene, but then had to hand back control to a player expecting an action game so it all got thrown out the window when they “need” to kill tons more people along the way (i haven’t actually played it so idk if you can sneak past)…
I dunno I’m just really still thinking about this “one gun moment” thing and wondering if it could be done well enough to impact the player, especially if it was done as a surprise or something (god that’s a really shitty surprise)
